Tonight Hannah rarked James up by leaping out at him and shrieking as he down the hall and giving him a bit of a fright. He loved it, before long he was running up and down the hall, grinning like a maniac and giggling and laughing, Hannah leaping out and yelling at the top of her lungs. So good to see him come alive vs the distant bored looking boy he had been all since I came home.
I joined in and chased him, he loved that too.
He does like running James, but he doesn't think to do it himself.

We then read books in his room, then more in Hannahs (put him in bed with her for a bit for snuggles) then a bit more chasing as he ran off, then back to his bedroom for a round of old Mcdonald. He even looked at the book a bit as I pointed the animals out. And now they are in bed. He may even go to sleep eventually. Maybe!

Likes:
Things with holes, snaps buckles, counters, buckles, textures, shapes.
Slots, apertures, hinges, wheels, buttons, switches; observing cause and effect.
Stacking, connecting, clicking, joining, breaking.
Getting inside boxes, and under sheets. Jumping.
Running, riding his bike. Walking down the mountain.
Swimming and spa pool and bath.
Hopping in and out of the car.
Swinging.
Music.
New toys he hasn't seen before.
Photos of friends and family
Building Blocks - but only a bit now.
things that go up and down.
Trampoline.
Climbing.
Play fighting esp on the bed (pillow fight).
Play dough.
Sand and gravel.
Goes through cycles, i.e. does cars to death then gets bored and won't show interest for a year or so.
Cuddles.

Currently not interested in:
TV, Puzzles, books, toy cars, trains, balls, drawing.

Does not use imagination. But likes it when others do e.g. the cake game, pretending with dolls. Puppets - he takes them literally a bit (e.g. the Connex monster).
When using play dough or blocks doesn't really want to make structures or anything but just likes to join blocks and squish play dough. Likes to sort counters by colour, in lines etc.

Today we had Muno from Autism NZ come around and film James doing some stuff with Mr tato. He got bored pretty fast and stopped but we got some footage. She talked about the course next week, she will be the facilitator.
I dropped the Autism books we borrowed from IHC back and got to see their library. Very impressive, loads of books so I borrowed two more, epic tomes of a technical nature. The sort you'd never buy but are good to read some of. I plan to read pretty much every book they have there, it is a fantastic resource.

when I got home James seemed lethargic and bored. I felt possessed of some sort of energy and felt like rarking things up so we three (me, James, Hannah) did a lot of mucking around with the Swiss ball; bouncing, rolling, squashing him, chucking the ball, dropping it on him, then after tea got into Hannah s old Fantacolour mosaic board. It's a plastic board and you stick different coloured mushroom shaped little domes with sticks into it to make patterns and shapes. I just got down with James and did the 'Floortime' thing and it worked really well, I was very very pleased. I got James doing lines, I just worked in with him and beside him and did some lines and talked lots about the colours. Interestlingly of the four colours, red, blue, yellow and green he was only interested in green and in his own words 'purple' (blue).
I encouraged him to make lines by showing him some line making and also joining some of his up. Every time he did one in sequence I would say 'good boy' very enthusiastically and rub his back. He did seem to respond and became a bit more interested in doing lines instead of just random stuff. I also showed him turning it over and popping them out from the back while saying 'pop'.
Sometimes he would jump up and jump around a bit. I must have spent 30-40 minutes on the floor with him.
Anyway it felt really good to guide him to do something and to see him be pleased, and also to note that he seems to be encouraged by the praise. It's not immediate but it does seem to work. Like many things with James it's slow.

Some vignettes from today that describe it overall:

This morning James came into our bed, he was happy and smiling. He lay there babbling unintelligible stuff, and I ‘babbled’ back (hello James, hello, wheres your nose? etc).
After a little more of his babbling he went quite I looked over and he had a look on his face like he was about to cry. Why? no idea! So I cuddled him and he grabbed onto me.

No bread in the house so gave him two weetbix for breakfast, he was not that happy but ate about half. Then I made pancakes for the house inhabitants which included Holly, James had some but spat it all out.
Once Holly had been picked up we went to go swimming but it being Anzac day the pool was shut, went via the tip and dropped off waste oil and various broken appliances that I had put in the back of the car. To Grandmas house and James played a bit with the toy matchbox cars, well when you say ‘played’ I mean looked at and held in his hands.
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So what has James done today and what have I tried:

I have tried getting him to play with various things. He has been most content to come down into the garage and hop into our (new) car, muck around inside, get out, go up the stairs. Come back down, look at the car. Play with the Ford badge (pivots to expose the bonnet release).
I have tried really hard talking to him. Getting down low face to face, being patient. There's been basically no language today at all.

I have read books, he hardly looks, he’s barely ‘there’ at all. We have got puzzles from the toy library he is not interested. We got some giant block things you fit together and can make shapes, he’s not interested in those except marginally initially, meanwhile Hannah (and Holly) did not stopped playing with them, making ‘trains’ and dance mat, boxes to get into, fences, houses etc etc.
He’s not interested in TV.

He has been on his bike around the house, he is enjoying his bike but he never looks thrilled, it's like it's something he does to while the time.

What has interested him:
Playing in the car, pushing buttons etc.
I took him on the tramp, he does like this but only for so long. I took him to the park for a swing, he does like this quite a lot; some things never change.
I put him in the Spa, he does like this but he was only in there a wee while he got out grizzling.
He does honestly like having cuddles with me, and whenever I have sat down with him we have had a cuddle. He’s quite content to lie on me and have his head stroked for a bit.
The buckle on his car seat has always intrigued him. He still plays with and tries to open this.
The chain release thing on the safety chain on the baby swings at the playground. Can’ do it but loves it.
Wee George came around, but James didn’t even so much as look at him. George just looks at James occasionally with the puzzled look and doesn’t bother.
Also yesterday at the park a little boy from James’ little school came up and said ‘Hi James’, James didn’t even smile or acknowledge him. Yet we know James likes going to little school.

Put him to bed early, he was grizzling lots since before tea, I felt he was tired and he was asleep before 7pm, so maybe that was a lot of the problem.

Instructions for people looking after James

James has Autism. In his case it primarily means he has very limited communication or understanding of situations. He mostly uses little to no language and has not learnt to point or indicate choices. He doesn't understand facial expressions. He does seem to understand a fair bit of direct language but it is often hard to know how much as he either slow to react or doesn't react at all.

When you first meet him or see him again, it can take him five minutes to acknowledge your presence. Don't feel like he is ignoring you when you can't get even a glance even if you stand in front of him, it will happen - it just takes time, this happens every single day to his own parents.

Generally by nature James is a happy and compliant boy but sometimes he might show problems with his behaviour. This usually occurs if something unexpected happens (e.g. he thought he was going to the park but went to the supermarket) or he wants something and can't tell us. In these cases he can get upset. He's not being difficult; it's just frustration or he doesn't know what or why things are happening.
Heres some tips for dealing with him that will make things easier:

Keep communicating with James, the most effective way to do this is to get down on one knee, look him in the eye (hold his hands if he's looking away and say 'James' several times to get his attention) and use clear very simple (reduced) language. E.g.

'James want (drink/food etc)?'
'Go park?'
'Come hop in the (car/bath)'
'Hold hand'

These phrases generally need repeating several times so he gets the idea. He often won't indicate he understands but it does help prepare him for whats coming and makes it easier instead of him resisting. If he's going to be going somewhere it helps to let him know what is happening/where you are going prior several times and don't rush.
James will turn to his name being called if you are in the same room as him (and he is in the mood), hold your hand out and say 'come here James' to get him to come over.
He is good at following along when you hold his hand (offer your hand and say 'hold hands') and this is what we do to get him to go somewhere after preparing him by talking to him.

If he doesn't like something he will groan or grizzle, or may get increasingly upset. Full on screaming kicking tantrums can happen but are reserved for situations in public with unfamiliar places. In general try to treat him like a normal child; but explain what is going on using the simple communication methods mentioned. If he is doing something innaproriate (e.g. hitting) tell him 'NO James STOP'.
If he really gets upset it helps to calm him by looking in his face, stroking his back and head and talking to him gently. Follow with cuddles if he looks pretty sad. Also playing music that he likes (which is most) generally has a very fast calming effect. TV doesn't really interest him.
These tantrums can happen when he's hungry or thirsty and can't let you know, so offering food and drink can sort out the situation too.

He can pinch or be rough with adults. This is often some type of communication, we think he wants to play or is bored. If he does this, say 'Gentle' a few times (we think he knows what this means) and see if wants to play. Generally with kids he is passive and pretty much doesn't be aggressive unless they provoke him (even then is unlikley to be aggressive).

Likes:
He likes going to the park especially swings (Be careful he usually wants to be on there 1/2 an hr or more!).

He loves playing with counters, and buttons, and dirt and gravel.

Likes Cafe's because he gets 'cake'.

Dislikes:
He hates shops. We don't take him to these anymore!

Beware:
He can steathlily sneak off and has taken to climbing. He can also run extremely fast, be very careful of all these, as he will not come or answer to his name if he can't see you, or call back if you are looking for him. If he were to get lost he would be upset, wouldn't know his way back and totally unable to do anything about it. It sounds tedious but at home we always make sure we know where he is and where hazordous sitatuions might arise.
He can also be dangerous near roads and has launched himself unexpectedly towards them.

In public places always hold his hand gently but ready to be firm if nesc, he is quite good at holding hands and following, and will generally only pull away if upset. Keep communicating where you are going (point and tell).

Other children:
James likes other childrens presence but doesn't show this in normal ways or know how to play. E.g. he may go over near to other children but usually not look at them or engage with them, he simply doesn't know how. It's good to let other children know that he 'hasn't learnt yet how to play' and that they can help teach him (give them the idea they are the senior child), and that if he doesn't appear to want to play with someone it's usually becuase he doesn't know what or why they are doing it.

The key with James is to be clear with directions, consistent and persist!

Went to Sharon Parson's (Megans Mums) 60th at Megans house in Khandallah on the weekend.
There was a very cute wee blonde girl who kept chasing James around and trying to put her arms around him and try and kiss him. It was sweet, but he acted like she was nothing more than some annoying vines that needed to be pushed away.
Similarly on Friday Michelles' cousin Theresa's wee girl was trying to interact with James.
In each case you see the child looking a bit perplexed and repeatedly trying, and then standing back and just looking at James.

A little sad to think one day it might be the other way around.

Fear of an image of James in the possible future keeps me motivated, that and the thought that we might hold the key to prevent this if we keep in his face and start early.

Another day where it all seems to hard.
Another day where I didn't do what I wanted because it was easier not too.
Another day where I wonder whats the point. Where achieving anything seems futile.
Feeling despondent.
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James threw tantrums at the Hockey Stadium, he had been happy to get in the car but got more and more unhappy on the way in, I wonder if he expected to be going somewhere else.
At the hockey stadium my frustration meant I felt like boxing his ears.
I did get down at eye level and inquired gently about what was wrong. That did calm him, although he couldn't tell me what was wrong. At the BBQ afterwards he was difficult. He is starting to get more angry these days. Yesterday Michelle took him too the zoo, and he threw such a massive tanty that they had to leave after a short time there. We figure it was overload or something.

Tonight I did some of the 'floortime' technique with him for the first time. Trying to interact with toys, he won't even look, even if you get you hands in with his taking/giving things.
But I got a puzzle and after much prodding and repeating his name over and over when he didn't seem too keen to finish it, he came over and hit me. Thats never happened before. So I tried to get this to happen again and he did come over flailing.
I find this much better than no response, so something is getting through even if it's bad. I was pleased at my persistence.
Tonight I did a lot more reading of ABA on wrong planet and links, and have come to the conclusion that it works, and the opponents are Neurodiversity punks. I'm sick of those c*nts, hardly any of them seem like they have anything except social aversions.
Also mixed in with my thoughts are always those about me. I have strong suspicions James is quite lazy - like his dad! So I feel like pushing and demanding/expecting things of him will prove beneficial. Instead of saying 'Oh he's Autistic' and just letting something be.

Hello Blog, sorry I have been spending a lot of time on Wrong Planet.
Anyway James is now saying phrases using 'I' and 'It'.
'I stuck'. 'I break it'.

Usually this in response to an unexpected situation where he is suprised. Thats very encouraging, the use of language in that way. Language still comes out sporadically and rarely but it's there, it's contextual and becoming more advanced.

He really has made some progress recently. His answering to his name. His whizzing around on his little push bike. And now this use of Pronouns.

It's like he doesn't see the need or motivation to use langauge.
Certainly he will do everything he can to avoid communication to people. E.g. yesterday Vanessa was trying to get him to make choices or ask for help and he wouldn't.
He wants to do it all himself. She gave him a muesli bar and he couldn't get into it, eventually he just left it rather than take it to her.

Had a good meeting with Kaye and Caroline. We had some concern about SCERTS vagueness and have been looking at ABA. Heres what I posted on wrong planet:

"We met with the facilitators of the SCERTS programme for James. We mentioned our concerns with SCERTS (i.e. seems non specific, a bit vague, might be better things out there) and that we had considered ABA.

The way they explained the SCERTS programme to us is that it is holistic, and looks at all aspects of the child's development. It looks to understand the child's interests and responsiveness and uses this as an aide to facilitate learning. It brings in learning methods and techniques at points and times where required. E.g. they are coming to us in a few weeks to teach us on and initiate James with the techniques for using PECS. They record the child's development in all his and our goals and feed that back into the programme using a marking system to reassess where to/what to do next.

The said that in their experience ABA delivers skills that often can't be generalised by the child, or used in different contexts. They also talked about their experience where it didn't seem to even make progress, e.g. someone spending a lot of money on a child over six months for no result.
Where as they had/have seen strong progress with the SCERTS model with some of the children they had been working with.

I take all that with a grain of salt, however I do have faith in these people and our paediatrician's judgement and experience. So we are going to go with it and do the best job of working with them that we can and see what happens."

We have been reading two books from Autism NZ and both finished tonight. I asked Michelle how hers went, it followed several kids at a younger age then their status 15 or so years later.
Michelle said the outcome for most was not good, and then had a good cry. She does not want James to grow up to live in a house with several other 'mental' men and have a job pushing shopping trollies at Woolworths. We talked. I talked about James' positives. The way he is now answering to his name. How he is quite social; even though he doesn't talk he seems to want to be around people. How he sleeps well. How he likes physical affection. How he seems to get bored and likes stimulation, and how when he gets it as in let loose in the garage the babble - sounds of happiness - spill out of him. How maybe he is like I was as a youngster just maybe more so; so many things like the boredom aspect are like me.

Today I tried being forceful in my tone and insisting that he do things like lie down for me on the floor. I feel he understands my intent (I say that from several things such as the way he bursts into tears if I tell him off and smiles sometimes when I am asking him to do something which he doesn't do). Its like he understands at some level the tone. This is a very encouraging thing. So I want to continue down this path of trying to treat him more like a normal kid, i.e. persuading, admonishing when required, praise (I include rubbing his back and chest with the praise) and all that.

I told Michelle that the only people in the world that truly care about James are us - to be fair the rest do want the best for him, but within their realm - as special Ed people, or daycare workers or relatives- but he's not there's and at the end of the day they go home. The most powerful thing Michelle and I have is our love for each other and for James and so we need to be the ones to take responsibility for his development, and get in his face and work with him.
And as she said very importantly keep talking to one another all the time.

We have moved ALL the toys out of the lounge and put them in containers in James' bedroom. The idea being that he will need to interact with us more. We do get them out for him to play with but put them away when finished.

It does seem to be working as there is less to 'lose' himself in.

Another thing we have noticed is that with his toys gone he finds other things and is a lot more vocal. Its like his regular toys like his blocks become things he turns to and does even though he is bored with them it's almost involuntary play.

We also have been getting him to help put the Toys away, he does this very well.