Instructions for people looking after James

James has Autism. In his case it primarily means he has very limited communication or understanding of situations. He mostly uses little to no language and has not learnt to point or indicate choices. He doesn't understand facial expressions. He does seem to understand a fair bit of direct language but it is often hard to know how much as he either slow to react or doesn't react at all.

When you first meet him or see him again, it can take him five minutes to acknowledge your presence. Don't feel like he is ignoring you when you can't get even a glance even if you stand in front of him, it will happen - it just takes time, this happens every single day to his own parents.

Generally by nature James is a happy and compliant boy but sometimes he might show problems with his behaviour. This usually occurs if something unexpected happens (e.g. he thought he was going to the park but went to the supermarket) or he wants something and can't tell us. In these cases he can get upset. He's not being difficult; it's just frustration or he doesn't know what or why things are happening.
Heres some tips for dealing with him that will make things easier:

Keep communicating with James, the most effective way to do this is to get down on one knee, look him in the eye (hold his hands if he's looking away and say 'James' several times to get his attention) and use clear very simple (reduced) language. E.g.

'James want (drink/food etc)?'
'Go park?'
'Come hop in the (car/bath)'
'Hold hand'

These phrases generally need repeating several times so he gets the idea. He often won't indicate he understands but it does help prepare him for whats coming and makes it easier instead of him resisting. If he's going to be going somewhere it helps to let him know what is happening/where you are going prior several times and don't rush.
James will turn to his name being called if you are in the same room as him (and he is in the mood), hold your hand out and say 'come here James' to get him to come over.
He is good at following along when you hold his hand (offer your hand and say 'hold hands') and this is what we do to get him to go somewhere after preparing him by talking to him.

If he doesn't like something he will groan or grizzle, or may get increasingly upset. Full on screaming kicking tantrums can happen but are reserved for situations in public with unfamiliar places. In general try to treat him like a normal child; but explain what is going on using the simple communication methods mentioned. If he is doing something innaproriate (e.g. hitting) tell him 'NO James STOP'.
If he really gets upset it helps to calm him by looking in his face, stroking his back and head and talking to him gently. Follow with cuddles if he looks pretty sad. Also playing music that he likes (which is most) generally has a very fast calming effect. TV doesn't really interest him.
These tantrums can happen when he's hungry or thirsty and can't let you know, so offering food and drink can sort out the situation too.

He can pinch or be rough with adults. This is often some type of communication, we think he wants to play or is bored. If he does this, say 'Gentle' a few times (we think he knows what this means) and see if wants to play. Generally with kids he is passive and pretty much doesn't be aggressive unless they provoke him (even then is unlikley to be aggressive).

Likes:
He likes going to the park especially swings (Be careful he usually wants to be on there 1/2 an hr or more!).

He loves playing with counters, and buttons, and dirt and gravel.

Likes Cafe's because he gets 'cake'.

Dislikes:
He hates shops. We don't take him to these anymore!

Beware:
He can steathlily sneak off and has taken to climbing. He can also run extremely fast, be very careful of all these, as he will not come or answer to his name if he can't see you, or call back if you are looking for him. If he were to get lost he would be upset, wouldn't know his way back and totally unable to do anything about it. It sounds tedious but at home we always make sure we know where he is and where hazordous sitatuions might arise.
He can also be dangerous near roads and has launched himself unexpectedly towards them.

In public places always hold his hand gently but ready to be firm if nesc, he is quite good at holding hands and following, and will generally only pull away if upset. Keep communicating where you are going (point and tell).

Other children:
James likes other childrens presence but doesn't show this in normal ways or know how to play. E.g. he may go over near to other children but usually not look at them or engage with them, he simply doesn't know how. It's good to let other children know that he 'hasn't learnt yet how to play' and that they can help teach him (give them the idea they are the senior child), and that if he doesn't appear to want to play with someone it's usually becuase he doesn't know what or why they are doing it.

The key with James is to be clear with directions, consistent and persist!