Thoughts inspired by a little girl

I had a bit of a epiphany yesterday. I was at the smimming pool and a little girl walked out she looked unhappy and her eyes were red so I was looking at her. As she walked past and looked at me, a great big smile lit up her face and she waved at me even though we were only a metre apart. I realised she was a downs child and her eyes were red from chlorine. She was as happy as could be. She might well be the happiest person at the pool!

My son loves going to his daycare. He can't talk to the kids but his teacher there makes sure they understand he is 'still learning to talk' and include him in their activities and also help him to do tasks - as mentors to him. E.g. taking his hand and leading him to the wash basin to wash his hands before lunch. His main teacher is an old Samoan lady and I think there is more wisdom in her than any specially trained person.

I have been thinking so much about my son's loss of 'future' as I perceived it was going to be. I never dreamed of big things, just that he would talk and have friends and get a job and have a partner one day and be fulfilled. Those are the things I would want for myself. But if all these things are not achieved but he achieves fulfilment and happiness then I would be pretty happy. So maybe that would be a job pushing trollies at the shopping market (he'd have to stop staring at the leaves blowing on the trees LOL). Hell really my prime motivation in work has been to not be bored. I could get a much higher paying job if I used all my skills, I can't be arsed I don't want the stress for some money I don't actually need.

I think I am also starting to get over the difference thing (when compared with other kids) when at the park. I think the slow realisation of that was the most painful thing. But now I know I think I am beginning to become OK with it. Yes he is different but thats not a bad thing now.

In short I think I am coming to an acceptance. But it still comes and goes. I do feel that I will be able to be a more effective parent for my boy by having an acceptance of him rather than panicking that he needs to be 'fixed'. And I think this is where Dr Andrew was coming from with his less than psotive thoughts about ABA. I have read on Wrong Planet from people who have had that sort of therapy that it was painful and made them feel bad about themselves (low self esteem) and stressed. What good is knowing how to spell cat if thats the price.