Thu 11/2/2010

Ahh, my day 'off'!
After getting Hannah off to school, came back and put Thomas on for James who got very excited and started jumping up and down flapping his arms, giggling and making happy noises. I did the dishes, some laundry, packed some lunch and a few things and got enough of my shit together to get me and James out the house a little after 11am; destination Makara beach.

At Makara I got our coats and and we went for a walk along the bumpy seashore. I showed James seaweed (unimpressed). He of course stopped to run his hands through sand and I took a video. He tried once to walk into the water, but I stopped him as it was a cold day with a little drizzle and we had Jackets and shoes and longs on. There was a big Juvenile gull on the beach, and I was able to walk us right up to it, as in a meter away. James simply was not interested - or didn't appear that way - as you'd expect a kid to be.
We continued on and I took him for a walk around the rock pools at the point. There wasn't much life in them but I showed him some 'bead' seaweed. Also having been reading about odd sensory issues that kids have I got some kelp and ran it over his palms, 'slippery' he said and pulled his hands away repeatedly.
I took a few videos as we clambered around the rocks. A few times I made him walk over the rocks by just walking 10 meters away. A bit scary as he has to work really hard to do this and also he stands on the peaks of the elevated rocks sometimes but overall he is pretty good and shows good judgement.
We did the stone throwing game (we throw stones in the water and I say 'splash'!).
He seemed to be a bit disgruntled by this time, and on the way back he got me to carry him a bit. He kept spitting down his front and I realised it was when we were near the smelly seaweed. He played some more in the sand and I showed him how to dig a hole with a flat stick which he took and did lots of gouging grooves in the sand, but he wasn't that happy particularly with the small gritty sand stuck to his hands. As I carried him heading back to the car I could not get him to look at me. We approached some seagulls and I said 'seagulls' a few times, and he popped out the word. When we got back to the car his face lit up with a smile and he said 'car' with obvious relief. I washed his hands, then fed him in the car and he started to look at me a bit when I tried to get his attention.
We had been out walking about for 45 minutes, so it might have been hunger, tiredness, sandy hands and wet sandy feet, wanting to sit down and rest and be warm, being a bit overwhelmed by a new experience, or all of the above.
I guess the not looking thing is associated with some level of unhappiness. I notice this when I take him to child space, when I leave he tries not to look at us.

Headed up Karori way and through the backroads to J'ville Library. By the time we got there I was a bit zonked. On the way there he just sat silent in the back looking out the window and slowly eating. At the library I chose a few books for him while he played puzzles. Went to the Mall Cafe, then back to car and home.
At home I uploaded the video's to Picasa and showed him, he loved them and was giggling and grinning away. He also liked the recent photos of Hannah, and I pointed out everybody's names in the photos and vids; 'Thats James, that's Hannah' etc.
Mucked around at home a bit then up to school to get Hannah. Made the kids popcorn, played with James and his Duplo a bit and after some mucking around we went to the pool. He loves the pool. We have a bit of a routine, it starts with him getting into the pool wheelchair access ramp, then mad thrashing about in the big pool with me pulling him around and getting him to jump off the side, and him toeing me in the nads! Then we go to the learners pool for thrash around in there, then finally into the toddlers pool to be warm.
When we first go to the pool he is really engaged with me, but by the end by the time he is in the toddlers pool for a while he is really in another place. I can be in there just me and him and he will glide past me without even looking at me, or looks through me, even if I am talking to (at!) him.

After Hannahs lesson she came into the toddlers pool for a bit, then we went home for tea. After tea he got into his Duplo again and I played with him. He just likes to push the bricks together and pull them apart. I try to join in but he's lost in just pushing them together and pulling them apart in seemingly random way. So I started making towers, then a wall, and finally little houses (like jails!) that I started to put figures into. At that point he started to become interested in what I was doing. I made the figures run up and down his arms and added a pig and things like that and he was really taken with it and seemed to be copying me a bit with them. Put the kids in the Spa (he was grinning when he went in the water again) and to bed.
I think I will do more of that type of playing it's almost like he needs to be shown how and what to do in play. So I will keep it up. I haven't played with toys with him in the past as I've always had something 'to do' and I always thought kids just did playing automatically..but bugger it now, nothings more important than my son, other things can wait or be done later. Also it takes a little bit of practise to remember how to play like a child again, but once you get back into it - and it does take a mind shift to engage your imaginative mind again, it's creative and fun.
Thinking about him now, imaginative play has been almost absent from his repertoire. He does play with cars and his Thomas but it is mainly to watch the wheels go around and around. He does put the tracks together a bit.
I will make another house or something out of all the Duplo ready for the morning to surprise him!
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Note. Every time we went to do something else today, e.g. heading back to the car from the beach, getting out of the pool, I carefully explained it to him. I do not know if he is listening or what he understands but certainly it seems to make a transition to something else easier. I guess even if he doesn't understand my words he knows from my careful talking to him that we are about to up and do something else?
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Today when he was upset and wanted to go back to the car, I kept getting down face to face and asking him what the matter was, and he was looking at me and frowning. It made me think about the other day when he was trying to tell me something with the cloth, he was trying so desperately hard and could see it was so frustrating for him. It must be so hard for him sometimes, and I also think about times when he appears deaf where the communication problem is very obviously in the other direction.