8/2/2010

Felt quite blue at work today, thinking about James and what might and might not be. Didn't do a very good job of being a good employee although managed a good burst in the afternoon.
After I got home from work I changed into my SI (Standard Issue shorts and tshirt) and played with him on the floor. We played with Duplo bricks but I think he was frustrated as he was breaking the bricks up and sort of smashing them together. We played a bit with him standing on my chest and me holding his hands to support him as we do, with him jumping up and down and gritting his teeth and making sort of grunting and hissing noises. He likes to almost headbutt me, and sometime does. I wonder if it's him letting a bit of pent up energy, frustration etc out. He also squealed at ear shattering volume a few times, my ears are ringing a bit now!
I took him out on the tramp and we bounced around and played a bit. I would love to hear him say 'posie' or 'meenie' again (Ring a ring a Rosie song or Eenie Meenie song) like he used to. A few planes went over and I pointed up at them and said plane. The first few times he looked at them, whether from the noise or me saying plane or pointing I don't know. The next few he didn't really look at.

Then we went and had tea. James stuffed himself and while having tea and watching him eat and stare off into space I lost it and tears started flowing with all the frustration and sense of loss I am currently feeling so had a good talk with Michelle.
After tea he perked up and we played some more, I love the way he now seeks me out if I walk down the end of the house..I guess he knows he will get a bounce up and down at least.

Being such a nice evening I decided to get the hell out of the house and so took him and his little trike up to the school which we haven't done for ages. That was awesome and he tore around on it at the tennis courts, then onto the ramped concrete path by the playground tearing down there at high speed (for a little plastic trike!) in complete control even when braking (sandal brakes). He is a bit of a natural actually and lifts his feet for more speed and knows the radius of the turns he can take at what particular speed. This is something I want to get him more into and ultimately onto two wheels.

He used a couple of words tonight up there. At one point he walked away from his bike and then when he returned from going walkabout, saw his bike, smiled and said 'bike'! He also said 'circle' while sitting on the ground looking at and rubbing his hands over the yellow paint of the netball court shooting circles. And he also said 'shadow' after I said it about ten times while pointing to his shadow. He is funny with shadows they are a source of great interest to him. He gets off his bike to look and runs about flapping his arms about and looking at the shadow. A couple of times I put his bike somewhere else and then pointed to it and said bike, but he just doesn't get pointing..yet.
While I was up there watching him I thought about the poem 'Welcome to Holland' and felt pretty happy.
http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/welcome-to-holland.html

I took him home and he was pretty unhappy at being home he wanted to be on his bike (which reminds me I must fix the gate latch ASAP he was playing with that to get back out). This was fixed by an ice cream from Mum and then two bananas.

When I went to wipe his face with a wet face cloth a very interesting thing happened. He basically freaked out and the following happened:
Crying and wailing and jumping up and down, followed by him putting the cloth repeatedly in my hand. We all came over (me, Michelle, Hannah) to try and work out what was the problem as he was babbling a lot too and we are trying hard to open up communication with him. Eventually he grabs Hannah and Michelle and leads them outside by the hand. And he keeps putting the cloth in my hand. It seems he has put them outside because he doesn't want them here as he's trying to show or tell me something without them getting in the way.
I am trying to put it back on his face as he doesn't seem to mind that although it doesn't exactly make him happy, eventually I wet it some more - at which point he gets frantic as I take it away to the tap - ball it up a bit and put in it his mouth as I wonder if his teeth are bothering him, and he starts to suck on the cloth and becomes quieter at which point I work out he is thirsty, I get him his drink and immeidately peace and happiness reigns!
I wish he could say ' drink pease' like he used to, but at least he was trying in his way.

To bed and he was stuffed and a bit grizzly.
I feel a little bit bad about not spending as much time with Hannah as I could at the moment, so I read her a good chapter of her book and played the 'pillow' game with her ( pretend to be going to sleep and she is annoying pillow that must learn to behave and not wake me up).
A pretty poor day that turned out pretty good in the end.